The Best Student Directed Muslim Sex Education Class I've Ever Attended

Part I: The Flood of Awkward and the Drowning of Ease
September 17, 2015
Jesse

*Names and dates have been changed to protect the innocent. Quotes have been paraphrased to spare the reader from the harsh conditions that we all faced*

The following is a tale not for the weak of heart. If you grew up with a caring, well adjusted family and easily assimilated into social situations following the exact patterns a healthy, normal, completely sane member of society should follow, you need to stop reading now. This is not a story for you, go back to your impeccable, well-timed haircuts and your perfect sleep cycle.

This is a story for the clumsy, the coarse, the ungraceful, the uncomfortably blunt, those of us who didn't even get to talk to the homecoming queen and if we did, it was a terrible experience for her. This is the story of a gangly crew of misfits not unlike you and me. This is the story of my Indonesian Language and Culture Class and two very specific classes within the curriculum, Romance and Sex Education.

I must say I was worried coming into it. I'm no stranger to awkward situations but even I couldn't fathom what would become of a class of 20 year old Muslims wearing their Hijabs opening up about something they've been told not to discuss their entire lives. The teacher set the stage, she challenged us, she made the environment a safe place, a place of sharing, and share we did.

The first class was about romance and courtship. Just a nice little warm-up for the main event. At Gajah Mada  student-directed classes are fairly normal. So just picture all the awkwardness of a 10 minute student presentation, then give the speakers English as a second language, then make the presentation 2.5 hours.  Awkward.  Heavy, penetrating awkward coming at you from all angles, you'd look over at the person next to you and you could see them, in that very moment, scarred deeply and hauntingly in a way that would stick with them for life. Everywhere people were shifting uncomfortably in their seats, trying to time their bathroom breaks perfectly to minimize the damage, some just completely gave up on their lives and let their heads fall onto the desk submitting to the awkward.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, the presenting students instructed us to look under our seats. Four seats had pieces of paper taped to the bottom of them, these were to be involuntary actors in a play about romance. The awkward was beginning to darken, no one would emerge the same.  After the play which featured men cast as women and vice versa, the presenting students realized they still had time to kill. They would not just kill this time but murder it in a vicious, blood-thirsty massacre that preyed upon whatever innocence we had left in our hearts.

"And now, we would like to play a game called 'Awkward Dating Moments'."

The awkward was harsh, black and stinging all it touched. Now it was doubled, we would be in an awkward situation talking about previous awkward situations.

"I would like to tell one." Said a tall, thin-faced student feeling that he could defeat the awkwardness by embracing it.

"I am once talking with this girl on the Facebook. And in her picture she is very nice. Nice smile and pretty face so we make the date at a mall. Well I got there and I could not see her so I call on phone and she says 'yes I am here already.'  I look to see her and she is very pretty in Facebook picture but in real life she is so fat! I text my sister to call and say my grandma is sick so I can leave."

The awkward subsided just for a moment and was replaced by moral judgements.  One girl in a floral patterned Hijab broke the silence.

"I think it was very unfair the way you treated her."

"No you don't understand. She was sooo fat."

"But is that the only reason you left? Didn't you consider her feelings?"

"I'm sorry. I don't think you hear my story properly. In her picture she was pretty but in real life very fat."

"Did she use a fake picture?"

"No it was her face only not body."

"So you thought her face was pretty?"

"Yes, but that is before I knew she was fat."

"This is very irresponsible. You shouldn't have left like that."

"I'm sorry. I wish I had picture to show you because then you understand. She was sooooo fat."

The back and forth continued and the awkward began to reestablish itself as the dominating force in the room. This young man did not understand the fact that fat people have feelings too and the more they tried to convince him the more confused he became assuming they were confused. The teacher allowed this conversation to go on unmoderated. In the back of my mind I think she knew what she was doing, she felt a surge of power from the deep social discomfort we felt. We needed an out, we needed a lifeline. We were two hours in and the biting, trenchant, soul-choking awkward threatened our ability to ever exhibit smooth confidence again. At the moment the teacher interjected.

"Alright class, that is it for today's lesson. I will see you all next week for our lecture on Sex Education..."

We thought it was over, we thought we were free, we were wrong.

To be continued...