Making It Out Alive

Monday August 11-Wednesday August 13th
Vancouver/Hong Kong/Bali/
Jesse

First post of the trip!

I decided to start a blog detailing our Indonesian trip so I don't have to worry about my Facebook updates competing with people complaining about people who complain too much or memes about dogshit. It's 8:30pm in Yogyakarta right now and probably the latest I've been awake all trip. This is not as lame as it sounds because Benny started the trip waking up for the day at around 2 am and is finally back in a decent rhythm.

I'll be adding photos as I go but I'll start with the trip over though I'd kinda rather forget it. It was like having to make small talk with a client you hate that owes you money... for 72 hours. Add in the fact that I had a 30 pound, intermittently-screaming human being hanging off my neck the entire time and you get the idea. I would just like to take a second and thank Jenn for all of her work on the logistics of this trip. She packed all the bags, sorted all the Visas, and booked all the hotels and flights. I helped by telling her she was spending too much money every chance I got but she pretty much knocked the ball out of the park.

So the trip started after a frantic last minute packing session/guitar lesson/dentist appointment. We hit the 3 pm boat to Vancouver and crashed with Dr. John Maile at his beautiful home. This was by far the best part of our commute as he made us some amazing puttanesca and told us about his travels around the world including Yogyakarta. Benny was much too excited to sleep more than 2 hours though so we stayed up all night not partying.

Then came the big flight. We arrived at YVR at 10am on Tuesday and spent the next 18 hours in lineups, in other lineups, finding new configurations to carry our 7 pieces of luggage plus Benny, in more lineups, in close quarters in a dimly lit flying cylinder with 300 other peoples whose listless eyes were lit up only by mediocre movies on the tiny screens before them (although Rango is badass), trying every technique we could to make a toddler sit quietly, giving up on life and allowing Benny full reign over the airplane because I got to the point that I don't give a fuck what the Mandarin word for 'bad parent' is,  finally getting off the plane, collecting our 7 pieces of luggage from various lines checking in to a Hong Kong hotel for 8 hours and then starting the whole process over!

HKG is the by far the nicest airport I've ever seen and is likely among the best and most well-run airports in the world. It was basically West Edmonton Mall but less animal cruelty. The number of Asians/crappy cartoon statues was right on par though. We also used our first cheap ass traveller trick as the only restaurant open at 6am (we were up since 2) was trying to charge $50 CAD for the buffet. So Jenn got the buffet, I ordered a single egg and all three of us ate like kings. Before you get all judgy, we also ordered Benny a milk from room service: $9.60 CAD. Who's the real criminals?

I can barely remember the flight to Bali because it was physically painful. We were all dead inside and Benny was not happy at all. Well he was happy at times but at those times he was REALLY happy. Like scary happy. Like Jim Carrey happy. The kind of happy that don't last. So that was painful.

We landed in Bali to a couple dozen cab drivers harassing us and an overwhelming smell of everything that has ever died on earth. We tried to appreciate some of the beautiful art at the airport but quickly realized that making fun of everyone was way more fun. There was a little 'do's and don't's' instruction manual next to the toilet: apparently you are not supposed to wash your feet in the toilet bowl or shit while standing balanced on the seat like a tightrope walker. At least, I assume they would happen in that order.

So we overpaid for a cab to take us into our hotel. That first venture into an third world city in a severely sleep deprived state was not something I can say I liked or disliked. It was just weird. At our hotel we struggled to keep our eyes open as we enjoyed some mispronounced live music while waiting for our room. When we finally got our key and unpacked the most important things and built Benny's crib believe me when I say we PASSED THE FUCK OUT... (until Benny woke up at 2 am.)